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JOJO - NOOB AND PROUD!

Fool loves Doll
Name
Jojo
Age
13
Gender
Female
Location
Diyan lang, sa tabi-tabi. xD
Joined date
June 16th, 2007

Speaking through imagination

Speaking through information

Speaking through feelings

Speaking through keyboard

Speaking through images

Photo
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Photo
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Photo
8 comments
Photo
26 comments
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16 comments

Speaking through people

Hero.
nimrod.
Emily.
The Way

Speaking through emotions

Sticky: If I don't reply to you, there are only four possible reasons.
-> I saw your PM or comment but I have to go then I entirely forgot to reply. x]
-> I'm bored with our conversation.
-> It's a very random comment that I really don't know what to say. >_>
-> I hate you. ^-^

NOTE: This does not apply when I have classes. ^-^

~*~

I know what it feels like to be separated from the ones you love.
I know what it feels like to see those people you love fight and go on their separate ways.
I know what it feels like to lose someone.
I know what it feels like to be betrayed.
I know what it feels like to see people talk behind your back and pretend you're their friend or family.
I know what it feels like to see the world turn its back on you.
I know what it feels like to be all alone.
I know what it feels like to be misunderstood.
I know what it feels like to be discriminated.
I know what it feels like to be different.
I know what it feels like to be told to shut up because no one needs your opinion; not even you.
I know what it feels like not to be trusted.
I know what it feels like to be like, thrown away and ignore you until they need you.
I know what it feels like to be taken for granted.
I know what it feels like to be used.
Yet, I know how it feels to be loved.

And yet, I still love those people who are being like that to me.

Sometimes, I wish I know how not to love. Sometimes, I wish I know how to hate someone so much I could just turn my back to them and never talk to them again. I wish I am that strong... yet, I'm not. Cute

But I wish I am...

~*~

An intelligent solution

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I've got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce." I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!" That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore... I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce," she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.

She closed her eyes and said softly, "Don't tell our son about the divorce."

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown bigger." I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously, I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, "I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy."

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore."

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart." Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:

I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart .

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

- Author unknown -



~*~

Dear Mr. Heath Ledger,

You know, when the news came to my country months ago, I really didn't care... 'cause I don't know you. Everyone was crying... I didn't care.

Do you know I just watched your last movie? Oh gosh, you made the movie big time! I actually enjoyed it just because of you! I'm not saying this because everyone thinks and feels the same or because you're not here anymore. But even though you made the movie so great, I didn't care still.... 'cause I don't know you.

Then you know, I was lurking in this site and found your movie last 2005. Everyone said it was the best; it was amazing; it was brilliant. Again, I didn't care. I mean, that's 3 years ago. But after several days, I gave in; I decided to watch it.

I just watched 30 minutes of it. Did you know I can't go on with my life because of it? Actually I'm quite messed up because of it. It kept on repeating inside my head and every night, every day, every minute, I crave for it; I need to watch it. Do you know I'm really affected because of it? But no, I don't blame you or the movie... my mind just can't handle too much emotion so it's quite messed up now... I'm messed up.

Then you know, I started to care about you. I searched about you, I watched your videos, everything! And you know, I became more messed up. I can't believe you're gone now. I can't believe that you cannot make anymore kinds of entertainment for us, I cannot believe I never saw your smile while you were still here, I cannot believe I never heard your name when you were still alive! I wish I cared before you were gone.

You know, you have such an unforgettable face. And how unbelievable; you have the capability to change that face into different pictures of sorrow, happiness, evil, and pure joy. Your voice that is always in my mind, the way you act, the way you show your 'feelings', I feel like I know you for a very long time. You know, you make fictions real. I can't explain it, it's like you have this certain magic that makes things come to life. But now, you can't do it anymore. Because you are now gone, sleeping peacefully... for eternity.

Actually I wish I'll see you when my time comes. ^-^ Along with my family I've never seen, my heroes who are now gone, my God, everyone. :)

I promise we will make you, your name, and your reputation live forever. You can't be forgotten just like that. We all love you.

Now I understand this line; You will only realize how special or how much you love this particular person when he or she is gone already. I've experienced this couple of times.

So dear Mr. Heath Ledger, I love you. I wish you were still here. You're such a great person, and you made a history yourself. I'm sorry I missed you, literally.

I'm a fan. :) But I came too late.

-Jojo

And speaking through you

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