CKY:TightTushZealot
- Name
- -
- Age
- 21
- Gender
- Female
- Location
- United States
- Joined date
- September 4th, 2007
Mental Vomit
Bleed To Know You're Alive
Latest update: Part 1 on October 27th, 2009Eff My Life
Latest update: Part 6 on October 24th, 2009Piranhas
Latest update: Part 27 on October 24th, 2009Sluterella
Latest update: Part 4 on October 24th, 2009For You To Notice
Latest update: Part 1 on October 23rd, 2009You Forgot Your Duck
Latest update: Part 1 on October 17th, 2009It Started With A Bang
Latest update: Part 11 on October 17th, 2009As It Seems
Latest update: Part 1 on September 27th, 2009The Wild Ride
Latest update: Part 62 on September 26th, 2009Matt Berry
Latest update: Part 1 on August 27th, 2009
Professional....Somewhat
An Evolution Of Beats
articles, December 12th, 2008
Le Shortness
Never Titled
December 9th, 2008Ghetto Bunny Foo Foo
December 9th, 2008Brian Elwin Haner Jr.: An Ode
November 21st, 2008Avenged Autobots
November 4th, 2008Popeye's Chicken
October 24th, 2008Here's Your Sign
February 1st, 2008
Inner Workings
Laughable.
September 18th, 2009Rant in two: Drama.
September 17th, 2009A Heads Up to My Readers
July 29th, 2009A rant
July 28th, 2009Piranhas
February 22nd, 2008
Stolen Souls
0 comments
1 comment
0 comments
0 comments
0 comments
My Pets
DanceScreamSing
Muzickalgirl
zomby.
Kira's Light.
sheraba
dancing6661rawr
QuietInsanity
War-Worn Harlot
Spiritual Healing.
lindsaylunacy
pulmonary archery.
FueledByAmy
Kirk HammettIt's Not That Important
The magician strikes again!
My names:
TL
LyMelodic
Lynds
Lyndsers
Lyn
Mrs. Jason "JB Diz" Berry (This one hasn't been confirmed yet, but give me 4 months and a bottle of chloroform....)
LYNDSEROTICA! (given to me by Jenjen, this very day November 9th of the year 2008. I will cherish it forever.)
Favorite Things:
-God and Jesus
-CKY
-Jason "JB Diz" Berry
- 90s music
-Avenged Sevenfold
-Good Charlotte (I owe my life to this band....)
-Patricia Briggs and Laruell K. Hamilton Novels
-Writing/ Editing
-Taking pictures
-Learning new things
-Genetics
-All genres of music
-My teddy bear Stars
-The colors: blue, purple, green, black, and pink
- Fav words: meh, cooter, redonculous, skit, smex (and it's variants)
"Ew" Things:
-The colors: yellow and orange
-Discrimination (If somebody is willing to be your friend: let them.)
-Having my picture taken (Words of Wisdom)
-Looking in mirrors
- This song was sung to me in third grade and scared me for life. I can't stand the Smurfs now.
According to my friend, this is the breakdown of my thinking: 60%- Food. 30%-Jason 10% other. Her's is worse so I won't do the comparison.
The Inhabitants of Candied Island (formerly Bumfuck Island):
My Sister
Tweakie McTweakerson
Partner in the Bureau of BSC
Fellow Moobian and Mayor of Candied Island
My Owner/ Synacky Whore Companion
For applications of residence, talk to Mo. She has to okay you before I can let you into my oh so special world.
The Tight Tush Theory
The Tight Tush Theory as explained by Lyndsey: Jason Berry's ass is tight. Reasons for that statement? He's a roadie/techie. Thus, he has to lift from the legs to do his work which leads to the lifting and firming of his ass. Secondly, when has his ass been known to look bad in any pants he wears? So, until Lyndsey, the proclaimer of this theorem, can prove that he does not have a firm-bounce-a-quarter-off-it ass Jason Berry is deemed guilty until proved innocent. He shall be called Tight Tush until further notice.
From here down is simply for your entertainment. It will let you know me better than the info up there, but I'm not holding a gun to your head for you to read it. Enter at your own risk.
A Little Piece of the Heaven You'll Never Enter
Muzickalgirl (Mibba): I wuv you all. Excuse my conceit. I know no better. The only time I will say I'm conceited.
CKY:TightTushZealot (Mibba) Lol
M. Vengeance (Mibba): lol
zomby. (Mibba): Well I wuv you too, even with your conceit.
Muzickalgirl (Mibba): So save it if you intend to use it later.
Muzickalgirl (Mibba): With the date and time cuz I will dENY.
M. Vengeance (Mibba): I'm too lazy.
CKY:TightTushZealot (Mibba) It's in the Mibba chat archive.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:20 PM): ...Do you think I'm vain?
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:24 PM): Yes.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:34 PM): Feel free to hesitate!
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:42 PM): And I don't do drugs lol. I just get bursts of energy.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:52 PM): Why hesitate when I know the answer?
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:58 PM): Lmao. MEAN!
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:31:00 PM): I am not.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:17 PM): Truth hurts.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:31:35 PM): It's not the truth.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:38 PM): Pffft
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:40 PM): Denial
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:32:08 PM): NOT!
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:32:30 PM): Acceptance is the first step.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:33:02 PM): I know it is. But I don't accept lies.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:33:16 PM): When have I lied to you?
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:33:32 PM): ...Damn.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:34:34 PM): Exactly.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:34:55 PM): First for everything!
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:34:59 PM): Maybe.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:35:33 PM): *insert raised eyebrow smilie*
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:36:20 PM): I hate that look. It confirms I'm reaching.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:36:26 PM): Rofl
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:37:43 PM): Hmmm...maybe you're lying making me think that you're tricking me when in reality you're NOT telling the truth.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:39:55 PM): Or I could simply be telling the truth knowing that you won't want to believe me either way it goes so you'll come up with stupid scenarios in order to make yourself feel better about the above average level of self-love you have.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:40:22 PM): Above average level of self-love? Lmao ow.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:40:46 PM): Like I said. Truth hurts.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:41:21 PM): I meant wow but yeeesh. I do not have an above average level. Self-esteem is above level now? Given the skanks of America, I mean, okay.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:42:30 PM): People with a normal self-esteem have highs and lows. Not once have I known you to have a day where you are just completely down on yourself.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:42:48 PM): I have had days when I am down on myself.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:43:11 PM): If you say so.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:43:46 PM): Lol
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:44:09 PM): Look, I'm not down on myself often. Cuz I mean, pfft what is there to be down about
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:45:17 PM): Way to prove my point. It could also be that I just don't think the same way you do. Therefore, to me, you are vain. In my mind, people who talk about themselves constantly lack humility and understanding of what actually matters in this life.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:45:45 PM): Lmao I understand what matters. You know that. So you just think I lack humility. XD
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:45:52 PM): DAMN! I did prove your point.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:46:18 PM): In essence, yes you did.
lyndsey: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM WHERE DID YOU GO WHERE DID YOU COME FROM COTTON EYE JOE!
lyndsey: Lol someone was playing the spoons at the party last night
Mootard: Oh Lord.
Mootard: What the thing you use to screw drills in?
Mootard: It's electric..
lyndsey: What? No. Two metal eating spoons.
Mootard: I'm asking you what the thing is~
lyndsey: I'm confused.
Mootard: I'm asking you what the tool is that you use to drill screws in the wall!
Mootard: It's electric it makes a cool sound.
lyndsey: Read all the words in that sentence carefully.
lyndsey: And feel the power of my mental smacks.
lyndsey: Maybe even a punt in the cooter if you don't get it.
Mootard: An electric screwdriver.
Mootard: There's no other name for it?
Mootard: Oh.
Mootard: A drill.
Mootard: HAHAHAA
Mootard: Ow.
lyndsey: Exactly.
lyndsey: Mootard.
Mootard: Sorry!
Go to this site http://www.homestarrunner.com Have a look around. May I suggest 'sb emails' They are very entertaining..
My myspace: ME!!
This site is your best friend: BFF FOR LIFE!!!!
The Youtube <--check it out!!
Help me out! My Missing Karma street team page: Lyn- LyMelodic
It speaks for itself
The Truth Hurts
MY JASON BERRY FAN PAGE! Join! (technically it's co-run by my friend Bee. Some of you may know her XD) There's also a Facebook page with this same name- JB Diz Fans. Find it!
PROOF THE REV STOLE MY MOM'S SHOE
My mom and I were looking for the shoe that Jimmy ninja'd so we moved the couch. Well we didn't find the shoe but there were a bunch of dead bugs. Which I take as proof that he did in fact NINJA MY MOM'S SHOE!! I mean... The Reverend Tholomew PLAGUE and there were dead bugs behind our couch? Think about it
The BEST conversation between me and my mom EVER
Me: Danzig is going to be here October 11th
Mom: Does he still do the screaming thing?
Me: No, he's not with the Misfits right now. It's just him. But as far as I know he doesn't scream anymore....
Mom: Is he single?
Me: He's like 53 but I think he still looks the same... like short and completely ripped.
Mom: I know... I remember him from the 80s and 90s but I mostly remember the hair and body
Me: Just the important bits huh?
Mom: If he's single....I wonder if he'll be signing stuff...like T-shirts or boobs....
Me: *laughing to the point of being in pain and crying for about 10 minutes straight*
Mom: If you tell anyone I said that I'll deny it.
SECOND BEST CONVERSATION WITH MY MOM!
(continued from another day)
Mom: Oh! I still have to show you those exercises so you can have a better butt. You don't want one that's all flabby and jiggly. You want it nice and tight.
Me: I know. Jordan and I were talking about that the other day. Well not my butt. Just butts on guys and how we like nice tight firm- not finishing that sentence.
Mom: *laughs* Well this is a nice conversation to have.
MOM QUOTE THREE
(Fellini's Pizza)
Mom: *looking at a 20 something emo dude* "Someone needs to eat. Get the big slice honey."
Me: *laughing hysterically beating my fist on the table*
MOM QUOTE FOUR
(Phone conversation)
Mom: Hey I'm in the hood on my way to the sto
Me *lauhging hysterically*
Mom: Um..... Nevermind
Me *can't breathe from laughing*
Mom: I'll try again later
Dinner at Friday's
Me: *trying desperately trying to open my green bendy straw*
Eli (server): Here ley me get that for you *tries to open three different straws*
Mom: You want the pink straw?
Me: I want one that OPENS! *bangs head on the table*
Mom: *opens pink bendy straw and hands it to me*
Eli: *laughs* I guess we were over thinking it.
Bubble-wrap Confessions:
Tape 1, Friday 13, 2009
Me: *happily popping my bubble-wrap*
Mom: *from down the hall* Are you bored? Do you want to leave now?
Tape 2, Friday 13 2009
Me: Tehe I just picked up my bubble wrap.
Bee: Oh Lord. The best distraction ever.
Me: I'm tempted to bite it.
Bee: Where has it been?
Me: .....On my floor.....getting stepped on.
Bee: Let's NOT put that in the mouth.
Me: But but but
Bee: No.
Me: But I wanna feel the bubble popping goodness between my teeth!
Bee: Rofl. It was on the floor.
Me: In my room.
Bee: Which was FILTHY.
Me: It's not that bad!
Bee: Riiiiiight.
Me: It's not!
Bee: You gave me PICTURES! You can't stick it in your mouth.
Me: You can't stop me.
Bee: That is true. It's still nasty,
Me: Meh.
Bee: You did it already didn't you?
Me: No. But I'm about to.
Bee: Oh Lord.
Me: That wasn't as fun as it seemed.
Bee: Rofl. Now you have germs.
Me: I had them before.
COBRA STARSHIP:
Thursday April 22 2009
Gabe: "You don't even need me. You just need someone to stand up here and do this..." *shakes around for a few seconds*
Ryland: "True. But..... I CHOOSE YOU!!" *points at Gabe*
Gabe: "YES!"
Things I've thought of And that other people have said:
"He can't eat eggs, eggs are pork." (About my friend's Muslim ex-boyfriend)
"The toilet has become a swirling vortex of DOOM!! Don't let it eat me!"
"I Can feel my eyes DYING!" (Concerning the pollen count in GA)
"My brain has a mind of its own!!"
"Wait! Do you hear that? That's the sound of my IMPENDING DOOM YOU DOUCHEPIPE!"
"Hot dogs are gross....They're like an animal cocktail."
Synyster Lisa: I can't get enough of the face melting awesomeness that is "Critical Acclaim"
To Liss: "I'm like a Zackin' praying mantis.... I always get my mate! Except I don't kill him after the sex."
Brittany W.: "Didn't you know? Cameron has demon semen."
"Ima punt you in the cooter if you don't shut up."
Liss: "I can sense if there's a fat person."
"Crack kills! Pull up your pants."
"Shanked in the pee-hole."
"Aw, my noodles are all noodly"
Mom: "Are you creeped out by that old man?"
Me: "No, if he touches me, I'll just karate chop him in the pharynx"
Mo: "Bassists do it deeper."
Me: "But drummers hit it harder."
"That shot out of there faster than cum out of a porn star!" - About my new lotion.
GSU police officers standing by a cross walk watching j-walkers:
Lady officer: "One of these days a kid is gonna walk out into the street and go SPLAT."
Guy officer: "It happens...."
Dreams I've had involving band people:
~Rob Zombie dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts and introducing me to his wife and mother
~Me meeting Marylin Manson and then ending up engaged to him and helping him put on a skirt for some ceremony
~School wide assignment: Two girls for every one guy. I get paired with Zacky V. The goal is to impregnate both girls before the school year is over. The school supplies a living space and the students must have sex every night.
~Me+M.Shadows+Sweat+Hot Skin+Grunts+Moans=One of my favorite dreams
~Bee, Brian, and Jason bought me some silver grills that have fangs.
~I almost had a sex dream in my history class about Brian Haner. I'm in college.
~I had a dream that Patrick Stewart (Star Trek, narrator of TNBC) was my teacher and the whole class was excited about the new Star Trek movie that's coming out.
Good Ideas/Bad Ideas
Eating a whole can of Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce: Bad Idea (something I've done more than once....)
Eating a whole container of Mint Chocolate Creme Filled Pirouette Rolled Wafers: Good Idea
Sending me Jason Berry for the months January through December: Depends on who's asking.....
Using spray paint in an enclosed space for more than two minutes: Bad Idea....eventhough it makes you feel fantastic.
Mixing Crunch Berries and Cookie Crisps for a BIG bowl of cereal: The jury's still out on that one....
Armidillo: According to P.Gates possum on the half shell is a BAD idea
Eating a whole chocolate and caramel dipped apple covered with nuts: Bad idea. Just don't do it.
Organizations:
~Berry-Haner World Domination Association We pwn you and your soul
~Vengeance Shadows Universal Takedown Corporation Takin' you all the way to the deep south and beyond
~Lyndsey's Lackies: The Ninja Emus They'll take you down in a flurry of feathers
~S.P.A.Z.: Southern Peoples Association of Zacknation Spread the sweet corruption
If you wish to join anyone of my organizations simply put a tag on your profile. But make up your own slogan. Personalize. The Ninja Emus thing? They are my eyes and ears for when I stalk people. You know you want me to stalk you!
All my stories are on hold as of 11/05/2009.
School is getting way too busy and in the last two weeks, I've found out that two family members have cancer.
My great grandpa, who is one of the ones with cancer, is having a lot of other medical problems so I have to be emotional support for my mom.
On top of all this, my own emotional status is crumbling.
Needless to say, writing happy stories has lost it's appeal at the moment.
I'll let you all know when I've decided to get writing again.
School is getting way too busy and in the last two weeks, I've found out that two family members have cancer.
My great grandpa, who is one of the ones with cancer, is having a lot of other medical problems so I have to be emotional support for my mom.
On top of all this, my own emotional status is crumbling.
Needless to say, writing happy stories has lost it's appeal at the moment.
I'll let you all know when I've decided to get writing again.
My names:
TL
LyMelodic
Lynds
Lyndsers
Lyn
Mrs. Jason "JB Diz" Berry (This one hasn't been confirmed yet, but give me 4 months and a bottle of chloroform....)
LYNDSEROTICA! (given to me by Jenjen, this very day November 9th of the year 2008. I will cherish it forever.)
Favorite Things:
-God and Jesus
-CKY
-Jason "JB Diz" Berry
- 90s music
-Avenged Sevenfold
-Good Charlotte (I owe my life to this band....)
-Patricia Briggs and Laruell K. Hamilton Novels
-Writing/ Editing
-Taking pictures
-Learning new things
-Genetics
-All genres of music
-My teddy bear Stars
-The colors: blue, purple, green, black, and pink
- Fav words: meh, cooter, redonculous, skit, smex (and it's variants)
"Ew" Things:
-The colors: yellow and orange
-Discrimination (If somebody is willing to be your friend: let them.)
-Having my picture taken (Words of Wisdom)
-Looking in mirrors
- This song was sung to me in third grade and scared me for life. I can't stand the Smurfs now.
According to my friend, this is the breakdown of my thinking: 60%- Food. 30%-Jason 10% other. Her's is worse so I won't do the comparison.
The Inhabitants of Candied Island (formerly Bumfuck Island):
My Sister
Tweakie McTweakerson
Partner in the Bureau of BSC
Fellow Moobian and Mayor of Candied Island
My Owner/ Synacky Whore Companion
For applications of residence, talk to Mo. She has to okay you before I can let you into my oh so special world.
The Tight Tush Theory
The Tight Tush Theory as explained by Lyndsey: Jason Berry's ass is tight. Reasons for that statement? He's a roadie/techie. Thus, he has to lift from the legs to do his work which leads to the lifting and firming of his ass. Secondly, when has his ass been known to look bad in any pants he wears? So, until Lyndsey, the proclaimer of this theorem, can prove that he does not have a firm-bounce-a-quarter-off-it ass Jason Berry is deemed guilty until proved innocent. He shall be called Tight Tush until further notice.
From here down is simply for your entertainment. It will let you know me better than the info up there, but I'm not holding a gun to your head for you to read it. Enter at your own risk.
A Little Piece of the Heaven You'll Never Enter
Muzickalgirl (Mibba): I wuv you all. Excuse my conceit. I know no better. The only time I will say I'm conceited.
CKY:TightTushZealot (Mibba) Lol
M. Vengeance (Mibba): lol
zomby. (Mibba): Well I wuv you too, even with your conceit.
Muzickalgirl (Mibba): So save it if you intend to use it later.
Muzickalgirl (Mibba): With the date and time cuz I will dENY.
M. Vengeance (Mibba): I'm too lazy.
CKY:TightTushZealot (Mibba) It's in the Mibba chat archive.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:20 PM): ...Do you think I'm vain?
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:24 PM): Yes.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:34 PM): Feel free to hesitate!
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:42 PM): And I don't do drugs lol. I just get bursts of energy.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:52 PM): Why hesitate when I know the answer?
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:58 PM): Lmao. MEAN!
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:31:00 PM): I am not.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:17 PM): Truth hurts.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:31:35 PM): It's not the truth.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:38 PM): Pffft
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:40 PM): Denial
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:32:08 PM): NOT!
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:32:30 PM): Acceptance is the first step.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:33:02 PM): I know it is. But I don't accept lies.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:33:16 PM): When have I lied to you?
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:33:32 PM): ...Damn.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:34:34 PM): Exactly.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:34:55 PM): First for everything!
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:34:59 PM): Maybe.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:35:33 PM): *insert raised eyebrow smilie*
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:36:20 PM): I hate that look. It confirms I'm reaching.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:36:26 PM): Rofl
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:37:43 PM): Hmmm...maybe you're lying making me think that you're tricking me when in reality you're NOT telling the truth.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:39:55 PM): Or I could simply be telling the truth knowing that you won't want to believe me either way it goes so you'll come up with stupid scenarios in order to make yourself feel better about the above average level of self-love you have.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:40:22 PM): Above average level of self-love? Lmao ow.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:40:46 PM): Like I said. Truth hurts.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:41:21 PM): I meant wow but yeeesh. I do not have an above average level. Self-esteem is above level now? Given the skanks of America, I mean, okay.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:42:30 PM): People with a normal self-esteem have highs and lows. Not once have I known you to have a day where you are just completely down on yourself.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:42:48 PM): I have had days when I am down on myself.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:43:11 PM): If you say so.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:43:46 PM): Lol
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:44:09 PM): Look, I'm not down on myself often. Cuz I mean, pfft what is there to be down about
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:45:17 PM): Way to prove my point. It could also be that I just don't think the same way you do. Therefore, to me, you are vain. In my mind, people who talk about themselves constantly lack humility and understanding of what actually matters in this life.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:45:45 PM): Lmao I understand what matters. You know that. So you just think I lack humility. XD
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:45:52 PM): DAMN! I did prove your point.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:46:18 PM): In essence, yes you did.
lyndsey: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM WHERE DID YOU GO WHERE DID YOU COME FROM COTTON EYE JOE!
lyndsey: Lol someone was playing the spoons at the party last night
Mootard: Oh Lord.
Mootard: What the thing you use to screw drills in?
Mootard: It's electric..
lyndsey: What? No. Two metal eating spoons.
Mootard: I'm asking you what the thing is~
lyndsey: I'm confused.
Mootard: I'm asking you what the tool is that you use to drill screws in the wall!
Mootard: It's electric it makes a cool sound.
lyndsey: Read all the words in that sentence carefully.
lyndsey: And feel the power of my mental smacks.
lyndsey: Maybe even a punt in the cooter if you don't get it.
Mootard: An electric screwdriver.
Mootard: There's no other name for it?
Mootard: Oh.
Mootard: A drill.
Mootard: HAHAHAA
Mootard: Ow.
lyndsey: Exactly.
lyndsey: Mootard.
Mootard: Sorry!
Go to this site http://www.homestarrunner.com Have a look around. May I suggest 'sb emails' They are very entertaining..
My myspace: ME!!
This site is your best friend: BFF FOR LIFE!!!!
The Youtube <--check it out!!
Help me out! My Missing Karma street team page: Lyn- LyMelodic
It speaks for itself
The Truth Hurts
MY JASON BERRY FAN PAGE! Join! (technically it's co-run by my friend Bee. Some of you may know her XD) There's also a Facebook page with this same name- JB Diz Fans. Find it!
PROOF THE REV STOLE MY MOM'S SHOE
My mom and I were looking for the shoe that Jimmy ninja'd so we moved the couch. Well we didn't find the shoe but there were a bunch of dead bugs. Which I take as proof that he did in fact NINJA MY MOM'S SHOE!! I mean... The Reverend Tholomew PLAGUE and there were dead bugs behind our couch? Think about it
The BEST conversation between me and my mom EVER
Me: Danzig is going to be here October 11th
Mom: Does he still do the screaming thing?
Me: No, he's not with the Misfits right now. It's just him. But as far as I know he doesn't scream anymore....
Mom: Is he single?
Me: He's like 53 but I think he still looks the same... like short and completely ripped.
Mom: I know... I remember him from the 80s and 90s but I mostly remember the hair and body
Me: Just the important bits huh?
Mom: If he's single....I wonder if he'll be signing stuff...like T-shirts or boobs....
Me: *laughing to the point of being in pain and crying for about 10 minutes straight*
Mom: If you tell anyone I said that I'll deny it.
SECOND BEST CONVERSATION WITH MY MOM!
(continued from another day)
Mom: Oh! I still have to show you those exercises so you can have a better butt. You don't want one that's all flabby and jiggly. You want it nice and tight.
Me: I know. Jordan and I were talking about that the other day. Well not my butt. Just butts on guys and how we like nice tight firm- not finishing that sentence.
Mom: *laughs* Well this is a nice conversation to have.
MOM QUOTE THREE
(Fellini's Pizza)
Mom: *looking at a 20 something emo dude* "Someone needs to eat. Get the big slice honey."
Me: *laughing hysterically beating my fist on the table*
MOM QUOTE FOUR
(Phone conversation)
Mom: Hey I'm in the hood on my way to the sto
Me *lauhging hysterically*
Mom: Um..... Nevermind
Me *can't breathe from laughing*
Mom: I'll try again later
Dinner at Friday's
Me: *trying desperately trying to open my green bendy straw*
Eli (server): Here ley me get that for you *tries to open three different straws*
Mom: You want the pink straw?
Me: I want one that OPENS! *bangs head on the table*
Mom: *opens pink bendy straw and hands it to me*
Eli: *laughs* I guess we were over thinking it.
Bubble-wrap Confessions:
Tape 1, Friday 13, 2009
Me: *happily popping my bubble-wrap*
Mom: *from down the hall* Are you bored? Do you want to leave now?
Tape 2, Friday 13 2009
Me: Tehe I just picked up my bubble wrap.
Bee: Oh Lord. The best distraction ever.
Me: I'm tempted to bite it.
Bee: Where has it been?
Me: .....On my floor.....getting stepped on.
Bee: Let's NOT put that in the mouth.
Me: But but but
Bee: No.
Me: But I wanna feel the bubble popping goodness between my teeth!
Bee: Rofl. It was on the floor.
Me: In my room.
Bee: Which was FILTHY.
Me: It's not that bad!
Bee: Riiiiiight.
Me: It's not!
Bee: You gave me PICTURES! You can't stick it in your mouth.
Me: You can't stop me.
Bee: That is true. It's still nasty,
Me: Meh.
Bee: You did it already didn't you?
Me: No. But I'm about to.
Bee: Oh Lord.
Me: That wasn't as fun as it seemed.
Bee: Rofl. Now you have germs.
Me: I had them before.
COBRA STARSHIP:
Thursday April 22 2009
Gabe: "You don't even need me. You just need someone to stand up here and do this..." *shakes around for a few seconds*
Ryland: "True. But..... I CHOOSE YOU!!" *points at Gabe*
Gabe: "YES!"
Things I've thought of And that other people have said:
"He can't eat eggs, eggs are pork." (About my friend's Muslim ex-boyfriend)
"The toilet has become a swirling vortex of DOOM!! Don't let it eat me!"
"I Can feel my eyes DYING!" (Concerning the pollen count in GA)
"My brain has a mind of its own!!"
"Wait! Do you hear that? That's the sound of my IMPENDING DOOM YOU DOUCHEPIPE!"
"Hot dogs are gross....They're like an animal cocktail."
Synyster Lisa: I can't get enough of the face melting awesomeness that is "Critical Acclaim"
To Liss: "I'm like a Zackin' praying mantis.... I always get my mate! Except I don't kill him after the sex."
Brittany W.: "Didn't you know? Cameron has demon semen."
"Ima punt you in the cooter if you don't shut up."
Liss: "I can sense if there's a fat person."
"Crack kills! Pull up your pants."
"Shanked in the pee-hole."
"Aw, my noodles are all noodly"
Mom: "Are you creeped out by that old man?"
Me: "No, if he touches me, I'll just karate chop him in the pharynx"
Mo: "Bassists do it deeper."
Me: "But drummers hit it harder."
"That shot out of there faster than cum out of a porn star!" - About my new lotion.
GSU police officers standing by a cross walk watching j-walkers:
Lady officer: "One of these days a kid is gonna walk out into the street and go SPLAT."
Guy officer: "It happens...."
Dreams I've had involving band people:
~Rob Zombie dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts and introducing me to his wife and mother
~Me meeting Marylin Manson and then ending up engaged to him and helping him put on a skirt for some ceremony
~School wide assignment: Two girls for every one guy. I get paired with Zacky V. The goal is to impregnate both girls before the school year is over. The school supplies a living space and the students must have sex every night.
~Me+M.Shadows+Sweat+Hot Skin+Grunts+Moans=One of my favorite dreams
~Bee, Brian, and Jason bought me some silver grills that have fangs.
~I almost had a sex dream in my history class about Brian Haner. I'm in college.
~I had a dream that Patrick Stewart (Star Trek, narrator of TNBC) was my teacher and the whole class was excited about the new Star Trek movie that's coming out.
Good Ideas/Bad Ideas
Eating a whole can of Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce: Bad Idea (something I've done more than once....)
Eating a whole container of Mint Chocolate Creme Filled Pirouette Rolled Wafers: Good Idea
Sending me Jason Berry for the months January through December: Depends on who's asking.....
Using spray paint in an enclosed space for more than two minutes: Bad Idea....eventhough it makes you feel fantastic.
Mixing Crunch Berries and Cookie Crisps for a BIG bowl of cereal: The jury's still out on that one....
Armidillo: According to P.Gates possum on the half shell is a BAD idea
Eating a whole chocolate and caramel dipped apple covered with nuts: Bad idea. Just don't do it.
Organizations:
~Berry-Haner World Domination Association We pwn you and your soul
~Vengeance Shadows Universal Takedown Corporation Takin' you all the way to the deep south and beyond
~Lyndsey's Lackies: The Ninja Emus They'll take you down in a flurry of feathers
~S.P.A.Z.: Southern Peoples Association of Zacknation Spread the sweet corruption
If you wish to join anyone of my organizations simply put a tag on your profile. But make up your own slogan. Personalize. The Ninja Emus thing? They are my eyes and ears for when I stalk people. You know you want me to stalk you!