assassin1841

things about me.. ummm... i play softball, love to draw.. mostly paint, also i like to bike, swim, jump off cliffs (into water duh!), read (Twilight, Blue is for Nightmares, books by Meg Cabot, Losing Forever, I know what you did last summer, etc...) listen to music. amazing qoutes/away messages:

Take a few chances you wish you had later, live life a little more, fear a little less, and remember, When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to MAKE ITS OWN DAMN LEMONADE!

"Men are like a deck of cards... you need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to beat them, and a spade to bury the body!"

A lady walks into an ice cream shop and asks the man at the counter for some chocolate ice cream. the man says "sorry ma'am, we're fresh out". the women says "ok, than just give me some chocolate ice cream please". the man replies " sorry ma'am, i just told u we're out". the woman than says "really? sigh...ok, than i'll just have some chocolate ice cream". the man by this point just stairs at her for a moment and finally replies "look lady, say 'van' as in vanilla..." the woman replies in a perky voice "ok, van!". the man then says "ok, say 'straw' as in strawberry..." the lady once again replies cheerfully "straw!". the man says "good, now take the 'F' out of chocolate..." the lady thinks for a moment and then remarks to the man "wait a minute, there's no f'in chocolate!". To this the man replies "THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL U!!!!!"

G_ F_CK Y_ _ S_LF
WaNnA BuY a VoWeL??

iTs bEtTeR tOo LeT sOmEoNe
.t.H.i.N.k.
yOuR aN iDiOt
tHeN tO oPeN yOuR mOuTh
aNd .P.R.O.V.E. iT

ChiLdReN iN thE daRK cauSe AcciDeNtS
AcciDeNtS iN thE daRK cauSe children

people like ((-->you<--))
are the `-.reasons.-` we have
--|--middle fingers--|--

No1 dies a Virgin, life screws us all

I'm staring out my window into your's...! (lol stalkers)

Q - What did the fish say when it ran into a wall??
A - Dam! (damn - hahaha)

A husband and wife were moving from Illinois to Florida. The husband left 5 days earlier. He sent an e-mail to his wife when he got to their new home. He accidently typed in the wrong adress, and it was sent to an eldery woman whose husband had just died. The message read:
"Dear my love,
I've just arrived for my destination. Plans are made for your arrival tommorrow.
Love, Your Husband
P.S. It sure is warm down here.

You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they fuck is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?? lol, i didn't mean 2 swear, but its funnier with the swears!

Lol funny site: http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/animals.html