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Alrighty-tighty.

It's a new year folks, a time where I finally am able to wipe the slate clean and look upon it with shining, eager eyes.

AWAY WITH FALSE CLEAN STARTS!

IN WITH A NEW, FRESH, SWEET-SMELLING BEGINNING!

And so it begins...






♥♥♦♥♥


*TAKE A SECOND AND THINK ABOUT THESE FAMOUS QUOTES*




"And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection, I, your glass,
will modestly discover to yourself,
that of yourself which you yet know not of."

~ William Shakespeare~





"In time we hate that which we often fear."

~William Shakespeare~




"ill deeds are doubled with an evil word."

~William Shakespeare~



"In critical moments even the very powerful have need of the weakest."

~ Aesop~



"Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own."

~ Aesop~



"What a splendid head, yet no brain."

~ Aesop~



"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office."

~Aesop~



"Familiarity breed contempt."

~Aesop~ *The Fox and the Lion*



"Self-conceit may lead to self-destruction."

~Aesop~ *The Frog and the Ox*


-VERY FAMOUS QUOTE, BUT OH SO TRUE-

"Slow and steady wins the race."

~Aesop~ *The Hare and the Tortoise*



*NOW FOR SOME FUNNY, SOMETIMES RISQUE, QUOTES TO LIGHTEN US UP FOR A BRIGHT NEW YEAR AHEAD OF US!*


"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. "

~ANONYMOUS~



"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. "

~Robert Bloch~



"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. "

~ANONYMOUS~



OHHHH, I JUST FOUND A FUNNY BLOND JOKE!!! (sorry Lauren and Katie, i just had to! though, it could've been a redhead...if that makes you feel better!!! *WINKS*)


"You've got Blonde:

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”








Alright, alright, back to the quotes...



A little...okay A LOT of risque in these quotes, k?







"Q: Do you smoke after sex?
A: I don't know, I never looked."

~ANONYMOUS~



"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

~ANONYMOUS~



"'The pen is mightier than the sword.'- Mark Twain, I regret to inform you The penis is mightier than the sword- Much better punctuation."

~ANONYMOUS~



"Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."

~ANONYMOUS~



"Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring."

~S. J. Perelman~



"It's the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time."

~Tallulah Bankhead~



"Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?"

~ANONYMOUS~



"I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get."

~ANONYMOUS~



"I have brains and a uterus, and I use both."

~Pat Schroeder~






ALRIGHT, I THINK THAT WRAPS UP THE QUOTES TO LIGHTEN YOU UP!

Still laughing?

I AM!












♥♥♦♥♥♥♥♦♥♥♥♥♦♥♥


HAPPY NEW YEAR!