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Count Your Blessings, 'Cause I've Counted Every Lie
Let’s get something straight. I am exactly who you think I am, as long as you think that I am someone who doesn’t give a damn about who you think I am. I’m not original, and I don’t claim to be. I do, however, stay true to myself no matter what it may cost me. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s start with the basics. I’m a writer and I use my stories to escape to worlds better than my own. I’ve had a difficult life with a complicated past so don’t you DARE say “I wouldn’t understand” because 8/10 times I will. I read a lot, mostly online. Music is a massive part of my life, and it influences my personality but does not define me. My Favorite band for the past six years is Avenged Sevenfold, they’ll probably help me more than you ever could. I only watch TV on my computer. I get really obsessed over things, sometimes over night. My latest obsessions? Greek, Pizza Bagels, Lil Wayne, and Brand New. I’m not the easiest person to understand. I shift from shades of blue and white without any real motivation in either direction. Sometimes I’d rather just sit alone than be surrounded by a ton of people. I can’t seem to let go of the past, even though I really should. Sometimes I confuse people on purpose. I lie to myself when I’m feeling great, and speak brutal honesty to the mirror when I feel like shit. I’d rather be openly hated then ignored. It really IS better to burn out then to fade away. I make relations and connections that no one but myself understands. I’m closer to the people that I can’t physically touch. I never want to bother anyone when I have a problem, but when it’s someone else I won’t stop annoying them until they tell me. I’m a hypocrite when it comes to unplanned endings. I talk in ways so people can’t understand what I’m saying on purpose. I’m not afraid to die. In fact, fuck it, I’ll welcome death with open arms when it comes to greet me. I’d rather live than live forever. I believe that when you die, there is no white light, no fireworks, no gold chariot, or passing through the ceiling. Your heart stops and that’s it. You’re dead. I don’t believe in God, and maybe that’s how I justify some of my bad habits. I smoke, I drink, and I use to fly high. I’ll openly admit I welcome pain more than I should, emotional or otherwise. I repress my feelings, because I don’t feel like other people deserve to my shit. I’d rather wear a fake smile than hear a fake “are you alright?”. I’m a cynic. I’m not the happiest person, and I’m alright with that. It’s not all bad though. I have a lot of things that get me through. Like talking to Tara, Aiden, and Patti, thunderstorms, Mibba.com, pen and paper, going to shows, pointless youtube videos, laughing with friends over stupid things, inside jokes, weird looks from strangers, band tees, kandi bracelets, Potter Puppet Pals, Iced Tea from Shoprite, Newports, Tootsie rolls, Vegetarian Chick’n Nuggets and Sweet & Sour sauce from Burger King, the scar on my wrist from Oli Syke’s belt buckle, rainbow socks, getting more posters for my bed room, moshing in pumpkin patches, baggy sweat pants, crab hats, taking a stand against all animal cruelty by being an Animal Rights Activist and vegetarian, and making new friends. Don’t try to understand me, cause I guarantee you won’t. Don’t try to change me, because I guarantee you can’t. Check out my new story! COMING SOON! http://stories.mibba.com/read/211903/Masquerade-De-Lussuria/
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